Clueless Ink

It’s choosing to hold on; choosing to reset what feels finite.

It’s tiring, this quiet ache,

To keep asking you to care,

To tell you I need holding,

While you’re barely even there.

No worry when I’m struggling,

No call when it’s late and dark,

No flutter when I walk in,

No missing me when we’re apart.

You don’t look for me in crowds,

Don’t light up when I’m near;

There’s no warmth in your silence,

No softness left to hear.

But I remember the boy who loved,

Who waited at the airport gate,

Who came at 1 AM to me

When the world didn’t feel so great.

You brought me cheesecake, just because

I was working late.

It felt like you loved me too much

To ever walk out the door;

Like it was fate.

You told me, “We’ll make it through,”

With every step we’d take.

You said I was the one you hoped for,

Not a risk, but the choice you’d make.

You spoke of me with pride,

Planned surprises, shared your day,

Held me with a kind of love

That never looked away.

Where did he go, that boy in love?

Now you’re quiet,

Still here, but like a shadow

Of the man I leaned on,

Without a fight.

Maybe now you love me less;

It doesn’t seem so hard to guess.

But I remember the boy

Who waited at the airport gate,

Who came at 1 AM to me

When the world didn’t feel so great.

The one who brought me cheesecake,

Just because I was working late.

Wish it were my fate.